Emotional Addiction to an Ex

I had a “cutting the cord” session with Nika several months ago. The goal of the session was to end my psychological dependence on my son’s father - who had been an emotionally unavailable, on-again, off-again partner for many years, causing me a good deal of pain. No matter how much I wanted to separate from him, I found it impossible as I had a strong need to receive his attention and validation - so strong that I would feel physically ill when he was in a bad mood. The anxiety around losing him was so intense that a text without a smile or heart emoji would start a whole wave of tears and anxiety. It was a terrible way to live, and it put a lot of strain our relationship as parents.

During the session, Nika walked me through scenes during the relationship that caused me to believe I desperately needed this man. Because I have had other sessions with Nika, I was able to see how previous parental abuse set me up to accept less than what I wanted in a romantic relationship. My subconscious conjured up a pair of shiny, heavy garden shears that I visualised cutting the cord that connected me to my son’s father.  Within only one session (plus the recordings) I was able to see, finally, that his emotional unavailability was entirely his issue, and had nothing to do with his feelings toward me - and most importantly had zero bearing on my own worth. Understanding that I am whole and complete without him has allowed me to have a far more balanced relationship with him as a co-parent. When he is in a bad mood, I am able to walk away without feeling anxious. I do not rely on him for praise or validation any longer. One big positive is that I no longer worry about how he thinks of me, so I am living in a more genuine way. I am able to express when I am unhappy without fear. While I can’t fix his issues and turn him into a great partner, I no longer expect that of him and I’m pleased that we can maintain a positive co-parenting relationship and friendship.

Julia