Introduction
This hub was created to counteract the toxic online dating culture, single shaming and unhealthy mass media and societal narratives around singlehood. Here you are always welcome and accepted exactly as you are today – not for something you might be one day.
You are already whole, complete, and enough exactly as you are – you’ll be reminded of this at every opportunity, as it can take some time to undo unhelpful conditioning, that encourages seeing singlehood as something to avoid at all costs.
Happiness
If you already feel complete, wanted, confident and worthy whilst single – congratulations – you’ve already found your Happily Ever Before.
If you are not quite there yet - whichever stage of the journey you are at right now - there will be plenty of emotional support for you on these blog pages. Whether it’s relief, empowerment, encouragement, or information you are after, perhaps a knowledge that you are not alone in this – you’ll find all of this and more here.
This space does not offer dating advice, this is more of a support service to help find your own unique path through the treacherous test that Singlehood can be. It’s Everything I wish I had, that would have alleviated my suffering.
The main point of this metaphorical hotel is to take away all hurt related to being on our own, and replace it with a nurturing healthy positive experience.
Lots of beautiful things can happen to you BEFORE you find a partner. The time on your own is NOT wasted, it is just as valuable as the one spent in a relationship, but it does serve a different purpose if you allow it to – the purpose of actually getting to know yourself, the same as you would with a new partner.
And you are worthy of getting to know up close and personal. It’s only the connection to ourselves that can give us true belonging, stability, peace and healthy self-esteem - independent of the opinions of others. We can only build a safe home in Ourselves.
But if you’re not in your Happily Ever Before yet, I bet you think that a relationship with another is ultimately more valuable. After all, it feels so good when we’re in love and being loved, and the relationship with ourselves lacks that same excitement.
I see what you’re saying, and we’ll discuss why it is that we feel love from another so intensely, but consider what it does to your mind, this centering of a person you haven’t got to know yet… Whilst at the same time neglecting the one person who’s always been here for you, who was there with you in your mother’s womb, every single waking moment of every day for as long as you’ve been alive, and is the only person guaranteed to be with you when you take your last breath.
It is her you’re neglecting, it’s her you believe to be second best to a dream that’ll take an unknown amount of time to materialise… And – if YOU, out of all people, don’t value and respect her, when you know how much she’s been through and how hard it’s been - when You are the one ignoring her needs in the name of a potential relationship, when you brush them off as unimportant ~ THAT’S what causes the emotional agony;
because by that point you’ve become your own bully and punisher, and, in the privacy of your own mind, there’s no one there to protect you from you.
We don’t know when your perfect partner will arrive, nor how long you’ll be together.
What we know is that YOU are already here - desperately needing your own love, compassion and kindness.
Will you support yourself, nurture and love yourself unconditionally - like that perfect romantic partner would -
or will you carry on rejecting yourself, missing out on enjoyment as it passes you by?
You were born totally worthy and complete, and no other person(s) or a relationship can make you more so.
I hope my writing reassures you of this and provides the energy of a best friend who you can turn to whenever you need to.
New articles are being added to this blog all the time. In every one of them is another key to living Happily Ever Before.
Go at your own pace and stay as long as you need, this experience is yours and yours alone.
And if at any point you need a chat with a real human being who’s been through all this - I’m always here for you.
In the meanwhile - feel free to listen to this 20 minute Self-love meditation, to make you feel whole & complete, loved and cared for right now:
