Whose voice did you internalise in childhood?

Was it the voice of a parental figure who treated you kindly?

Not all of us have had a parent who was there for us, when we needed someone to rely on. Some of our caretakers might have even been abusive. And even if we did have the support we needed as children - our minds could have still concentrated on and recorded the negative messages - even if there weren’t that many of them. Messages such as:

• You’re not good enough

• You’re not capable

• You’re not deserving of love

• Others are better than you

  and other toxic beliefs about the self, that have the potential to erode self-esteem if thought repeatedly.

This is why this column is called

As I re-read the words below, and allow them to form the new narrative my mind, they heal the parts of me that needed that empathic figure to be there:

• to validate me,

• to appreciate me,

• to make me feel loved and safe, even when I wasn’t at my best.

Through this process of reparenting myself, I create the Inner Parent who is always supporting me with kindness and compassion, in a way that is for my greatest good.

I hope these words do the same for you.

Love, Nika xx

Letter No 1 from Your Loving Parent

I love you so much.

I believe in you.

I am proud of you – with or without your achievements. I am proud of your Being.

I know it’s been tough for you, but things are working out in the background, they’re already getting better even if you don’t see it yet.

You belong here, exactly as you are now. All parts of you are accepted and loved by me – even the ones you yourself have rejected.

I accept you wholly and unconditionally.

I know you’re doing your best.

And your best is absolutely ENOUGH.

No one can be expecting more from you than your best.

I powerfully erase all hurtful words ever said to you by anyone, including yourself.

•   I free you to live your life judgement free.

I am always here for you.

You can rely on me.

I am your constant source of love & validation <<<

You don’t need to search for it ‘out there’ any more.

You are already home:

•      Safe

•      Loved

•      Cared for

•      Accepted

•      Whole

•      Complete

•      Comforted

•      Soothed

•      Protected

•      Nurtured &

•      Supported.

My words are yours to keep:

Plant them like seeds in the garden of your mind,

Water them with your attention…

And watch them grow tall and provide you with safety and shelter…

Away from the insatiable world.